I am being brave. So we begin again, this is the rest of the story as I know it. This is kind of scary because the end of this is still developing (I plan to continue to do this till college) and may have a tendency to hurt people if it gets out, which is why I have asked the people it effects to proofread it before it gets out. They all approved it and know what will be happening to it. To be clear, this is not meant to be a gossip forum but more of something informative for people like me looking for something to help them survive high school. I mean, it is my love life after all!
This story will not make sense if you have not read the last one which can be found here (http://www.ethohampton.com/2016/05/17/love-life/). Please note that I am really bad at keeping pseudonyms so you will see them used like twice then never used again. This is actually written throughout this year so I actually would remember. I plan to do this till the end of college like I said before but we will see what happens, I always try to stay flexible.
9th Grade: After Winter Formal
After winter formal nothing happened. There were several breakups and other things but nothing that affected me. I go to a campus in a museum for kids that are interested in engineering so there is a total of about 100 kids out there, 50 of them are freshman and the other 50 are upper-class men. It is an amazing opportunity however it also means you are labeled for the most part as a nerd. I don’t mind that much because truthfully I am one but it can affect other people.
In previous years of the program there has been a pretty even split of guys and girls but this year there are only like 9 girls in the entire freshman class that goes out there daily. This causes a problem because there are only 9 girls for the other 40 something guys to fight over. It also doesn’t help that most of the girls are attractive for a nerd and are basically clueless to this whole boyfriend girlfriend thing. I didn’t think I would want to date any of them but several events changed that.
9th Grade: Love at 97,000th sight
Generally, I don’t make my love interest visible to anyone but this time it went differently. I was part of a robotics team when I was in middle school and all the members know each other pretty well, we have a group chat that we use on a somewhat regular basis.
At some point during the beginning of 2016, one of the girls on the team sent pictures to a girl (in the program I was in at the museum) that I was interested in. She, in return, sent them to the rest of the team (including me, yay!) with the caption of “lol” and stuff like that. I immediately picked up the person that had sent the photos was that girl and through that got her number, pretty slick if you asked me, I didn’t even have to ask in person. I, being the stuck up person that I was, began to text her.
Basically daily for at least a week I texted. She seemed to respond well but we didn’t have any deep conversations. This is where things got kind of awkward because she was clearly interested in another guy (also went to the museum campus, which will now be referred to as SPMC, Smart People’s Museum Campus). I reduced the days I texted her so much that we basically cut off all communication altogether. Now I should also mention here that I also had (without my parent’s knowledge, who later made me remove it) gotten Snapchat and used that to talk to her as well, I had also been talking with a friend of her who also went to SPMC.
9th grade: Does she like me?
I was babysitting one night and was pretty bored so I decided it would be a good idea to text her and see what she thought about her relationship with this guy. Somehow I managed to text her and put myself in an awkward position yet again. I said that I would tell her something about me if she told me if how she felt about this guy. For the sake of completeness I’m going to say what she said to me but it is unimportant to the story. She said she liked him but didn’t know if he liked her, I offered to check and she politely declined.
She then wanted to know what I was going to tell her. It was now or never. I texted her back. I had one of her friends in on how I liked her. She simply replied she knew the whole time. I was like “oh crap things just got real”. Basically, the sum of the conversation is she said no.
9th grade: Awkward
Things were awkward after that, luckily because we knew each other through SPMC and it would have been worse if it was leaked, she decided not to tell too many people so it never got to the point where either of us was ever questioned in public. We eventually got closer but I was much more careful and for the most part made sure that she started any conversation we had. I still was pretty awkward in real life (and still am) but no one noticed.
Just so we can keep this about my love life, I’m going to skip the next few months and basically, all you need to know is I asked her yet again if she liked me. Not too sure what I was thinking. She shared the conversation in a private group chat I don’t know much about. The only reason I know about it is because one of the members can’t keep a secret so it was leaked the next day to me. It bothered me for a few minutes then I realized I must have done okay at covering my tracks afterward else everyone would know about it.
9th grade: but it’s my birthday!
Skip about 3 weeks and then we get to my birthday… Quite an event because not only was it my birthday but also the last day of school. A group of guys that I was with (me being one of them) decided to dress up, we looked great. We got a couple of pictures for Instagram. As a side note, it should be said it seriously gave us more attention from the ladies:). After school, because we got out early, so we decided to go to Dairy Queen. Our group later found out her friends and her were going there as well.
We got there first and got some pictures and just chatted for awhile about various things. We were about to wrap up when she came up behind me with an almost eaten vanilla ice cream cone. Somehow she decided it was funny and pushed it right into my nose. The harm it caused was minimal other than the fact it got on my backpack (not a huge problem at all). I got some napkins and continued with my day. It was pretty funny because some of my friends said something like “Marry him already,” and they had no idea. She apologized both after the fact in real life and over Snapchat, both times I said it wasn’t a big deal (it wasn’t).
9/10th grade: Summer!
So now we get into the good part, summer is one of those times where love is in the air. Especially for high schoolers. Surprisingly, this year was one of my busiest. I had camps, activities, and retreats for basically the whole summer. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time for about 2/3 of the summer to actively search for girls. To be totally fair, I was not looking too hard because I knew that I would find someone.
I went to a summer church camp towards the beginning of the summer that turned out to be significant fun. However, it seems like the point of summer camp is to find someone who loves you and you love them. Seriously, half the camp was in love and it was an annoying distraction. I will definitely be going back next year and hope to involve myself even more. In addition, I also went to help out with a vacation bible study towards the end of the summer where I met someone who impacted my life.
There is a good chance I have seen her before, she goes to a different church than me but still to one that I have some friend in. Our churches decided it would be a good idea to partner up for VBS as we would get more kids. VBS is designed to have younger children be part of the class and old teens lead small groups. This is exactly what they had us do and gave me a great opportunity. We are going to call the girl I met, “Sam” it’s Kind of a fitting name. I’m not going to keep this name thing up for long I can tell… Anyway, I went on the first day and did what I was supposed to do, it was lots of fun. I also saw Sam and although we were in different groups we started to talk.
10th grade: talk..talk..talk..fail
By the 3rd day we were talking fairly often and I think we both sensed we were into each other. At this point our talking was kind of taking away from the experience we were giving the kids but I tried to be careful about what I was doing. There was a picnic out at a park one of our churches owns at the end of the week. At the end of the picnic, I was brave enough to ask her for her Instagram and Snapchat. Okay, truthfully she asked me for mine but we can skim over that. She also talked to me about how she had messed up at relationships previously. My sister caused some trouble because I still wasn’t allowed to have Snapchat but it was okay. I had all the info I wanted, I could now actually talk to her.
After about a week she Snapchated me out of the blue and wanted to start a snap streak with me. I, of course, said yes. So it started. We started small chatting and managed to have fairly long conversations. At some point, I started to drop hints I liked her. She actually responded fairly well and I proceeded to be overly obvious that I liked her. At some point I asked a question like “Do you like me?” and she said something like “I think I do but I’m not totally sure”.
I moved along after that and decided I should ask her out. I was kind of an annoying friend at that point. Eventually saying something to the point of, “I am going to ask you out soon”. She kind of was hesitant but I ignored the signs and keep going.
10th Grade: The phone call or lack thereof
Finally, I got to the point of the actual phone call. Just before that, she said she had something important to tell me. I waited and it was about 3 minutes before she sent it to me. Turns out she liked me but just couldn’t see herself going out with me. Now this kind of killed me. It took me like 10 minutes to fully read and process the text (Snapchat). I responded back I understood and hoped we still could be friends. We ended our streak and stopped talking for a little while.
I don’t remember the particular event but eventually, we started to talk again, not for long but at least communicating. She eventually found a boyfriend who seemed nice and was good for her (at least from what I can tell). Eventually, I stopped talking to her for a while. I am ignoring all the school relationship drama because I was not involved in any of it. For the most part, I had stopped looking for someone to go out with.
10th Grade: The comment
One day I received a comment on the first part of my love story. It was nice and pleasant. I of course responded and did some research. I had no idea who had left the comment, and so I invited them to email me for further correspondence. She did. I had the main goal of figuring out who she was but also how she found out about my blog. She was pretty resistant to telling me who she was but wasn’t good at keeping a constant story so I knew something was up.
A lot of it was pretty generic stuff so for all I knew she could be some Nigerian scammer so I didn’t reveal too much. I was actually pretty freaked out by it. Eventually, though she gave me the initials of some people in the story. I knew at that point that she must go to my school and be in my grade else I would have heard about it. We kept talking (our email chain was approaching 10 emails at this point) and eventually I did find out who she was.
She didn’t tell me and I didn’t figure it out for myself, instead, some friends did. As I mentioned before, I was stuck on who the mystery person could be. I had some friends over for Thanksgiving and when they read the emails they knew exactly who it was. Apparently this person has some significant tells in terms of work choice so they figured it out. I waited a little while then just put her name in an email and sent it. They were definitely correct. We talked a little more but the conversation kind of fizzled out.
At first the timing seemed suspicious to me because winter formal was coming up pretty fast and she would not have been a bad person to go with. However, I later found out that she had another event going on at the same time so that was not the motive. I think it was nice she tried to reach out to me, we had not really talked for a year or two so it was nice to kind of talk again. I hope we can continue because she is a cool person.
10th Grade: Beyond November
“Sam” eventually broke up with her boyfriend because he cheated on her. I must say I saw it coming, some people have a 6th sense about these sorts of things. She broke up with him though so that was good, it put her in a good mood and in early December we started another streak. Still going and it’s a good change of pace for me.
I also started giving relationship advice to one of the persons I previously liked. She was in kind of a pickle, saying that she liked someone and then didn’t like them a few days later. I didn’t actually get the full story (I am sure there was more than just what I heard) but I guess I was just a listening ear that helped. If you want to help give advice, I would recommend just listening 90% of the time, talking 10% and helping them to figure out what they feel is right. Go with your gut.
At this point some of the fever for Winter Formal had started up and the freshman were at it again, asking people way earlier than was considered acceptable to the rest of the school. I didn’t really have someone who I expected to ask me so I was not too bummed when I did not get asked. To be truthful, it was actually kind of nice to not have to worry about it.
It really seemed to me that Winter Formal was less of a big deal this year then it was last year. Most of my “popular” friends had dates and had a lot of fun. I guess because I didn’t get asked, it affected my perception of the event.
That really is kind of it, that is the end of my love life for now. I have a list of people I would not mind being with, however I don’t have an urgent need to get a girlfriend. Right now I am just kind of hovering in place. Just waiting for someone else to make a move because I don’t think I am getting the signs right now. Thank you so so much for taking the time to read this! If you made it this far then I know you care. I am going to leave this year’s update off with a warning to everyone. Be Kind to one another, show respect, and expect the unexpected.
The next part will be coming out next year at around this time so stay tuned!