This is part two of four of a 27 page group story that was written during 9th grade language arts. This story is one of heroics and love and pain and sorrow. Without further adieu, The Amazing Group story!
Please note this is unedited directly from the Google Docs other than the pictures Ethan adds. Also please be aware that this story may not be (take that as “is not”) appropriate for younger audiences. Look who wrote this story at the bottom, it was definitely a group effort!
“ Matt, your skills with chess have become inspirational, you shall soon learn to teach the others in your class?” asked Puff the Magic Dragon as he gazed over the 8 Dimensional Chessboard. “Your skills are becoming un paralleled? Well?Not counting me at least?”
“Thank you sir, you’re awesome and humble home has brought much peace to my mind as I attempt my journey. I mean how will I become the one true master and find my long lost brother, then avenge my father, then go home to my mother and sister who may have been tragically murdered in order to create a interesting plot, then I will maybe have to defend my home from a stereotypically evil force which I may not exactly understand why I have to kill all of them ruining their lives and maybe their entire infrastructure of the world they come from, but they probably deserve it.” replied Matt.
“ Ah? I see? Sounds pretty sick bro? I wonder if the writer will actually dedicate a fair amount of time to creating that subplot in this flashback that was only supposed to last like two paragraphs but is now almost a page? I mean he might as well? At least I won’t be stuck in the main plot alongside that Keegan kid? His smile creeps me out? That’s not just me right?”
“No, it does give me the chills, where exactly are we traveling to again? I mean I know we are on a small hill perched on the back of a unbelievably large turtle that possess the ability to go 89 mph. But where exactly are we going?”
“ I have no idea? Gfa? Gfa? Gfa?”
“ Ha Ha, Oh Puff, you are always so funny, I kinda wish the writer would have taken out all of the question marks behind everything you say but it’s growing on me. Okay I gotts to go, see ya in the next flashback buddy old pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal pal”
“ Okay sounds good bro? The dog goes KAKAHHHH?”
Matt’s mind returned to him as he remembered the current task at hand.
“… Seriously! The mojave desert is way to dry for a theme park – what was my secretary thinking! And with bonds in 32 Dimensional board games on the rise how will we compete?” asked Matt as he stared at him quizzically.
“ I don’t know boss, I personally think that due to the inflation of the Democratic Communist Socialist Republic of Individualism and Retro Idealism United state of Cuba that we should just start killing Elephants. I mean it’s the only way I see us coming out of this unscaved” Matt wasnt sure what had just come out of his mouth but he knew it was complicated enough that Keegan would agree with him anyway.
“ You know that’s exactly what I was thinking, I mean right? Pssh man I wish I had you as my secretary, that would be pretty cool bro”
“Nah” Matt responded with a dismissive tone.
MEANWHILE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PLOT LINE!!!!
“ Are you ready Kid? Because you’re about to see some crazy shit” Joe said to Riley as he sat behind the wheel revving the engine.
“ I’m ready, where are the others?”
“Oh they went to circle K”
“ why isn’t this like a main plot point in the story as we will kinda stereotypically make a ton of progress by a simple coincidence?”
“ Yeah I gues-”
MEANWHILE ON THE SUBPLOT OF ONE SIDE OF OUR HERO’S MOST EPIC JOURNEY
“ so when did you find out about the free Spiced Chicken?” asked Dylan as they strolled towards the Circle K.
“ well in the back of the book there was an excellent add page in which it stated that fried chicken was free at the Nearest Circle K” replied Tristan.
“ DId you read anything else from the book?” asked Matthew
“ Oh yeah, SPOILER ALERT, A blond haired dude who’s name starts with a D dies, Doc Brown dies, and it turns out Matt has a great heart in which he will use against Keegan to save His son. Also Super Brick is going to die.”
“ wait Orange Matthew is my dad? Also who’s Super Brick?”
“ Yes and we should find out within the next few sentences.”
“Oh Okay cool”replied Dylan.
“Hey guys! Its me! Super Brick!” Bryce said to them as he walked across the street to meet his friends. He was then hit by a bus and died.
“ Well, do you guys know who that was?” asked Matthew.
“No, but he looked like he was happy to see us, well whatever, probably a hipster.”
The three walked into the Circle K and saw a blond dude behind the counter with a name tag saying Duke.
“ Hello fine sir, we would like to purchase some of your deluxe and free chicken please” asked Dylan.
“ Sure, here you go” said Duke as he handed Dylan the food.
“Thanks Brosephmister” said Matthew as they left. As they walked out Dylan gazed across the street to see the most MLG of Mt.Dew’s.
“Dibs!” he yelled as he made a run for it. He sprinted across the street.
“ Dylan! Look both ways!” Tristan yelled. Sadly though Dylan wasn’t paying attention as a tractor came hurdling down the road. Dylan stepped onto the sidewalk at the very last minute barely missing the car. He picked up the soda unaware of how close he had been to death. Everybody breathed a sigh of relief.
“I got it!” Dylan yelled back as he looked both ways. As he stepped on to the road he tripped and face planted, breaking his neck, killing him.
“My god… He was so young” Matthew whispered as he broke into tears.
Protagonist Tristan: Tristan Ferry
Protagonist Riley: Riley Fleetwood
Protagonist Joe/Doc: Joseph Chauvin
Protagonist Emily: Emily Cinnamon
Protagonist Matthew & MATThew: Matthew Mcconaughey
Protagonist Dylan: Dylan Hess
Antagonist Keegan: Keegan Elkins
Antagonist Abe: Abraham Lincoln R.I.P.
Antagonist Matt & MATThew: Matthew Mcconaughey
Side-Character Flurgen Durgen: M.C.
Side-Character Leo: Patches
Side-Character Puff: Puff the Magic Dragon
Side-Character Anna: Anna
Side-Character Super Brick: Bryce Abeln
Side-Character Duke: Duke Brah
Side-Character Lucca: Lucca Hamina
Mastermind and Primary Author: Jon Carter
Assistant and Part-time Editor: Logan Bergmann
Assistant and Part-time Editor: Vincent Roush
The Transitioner: Transitioner Shwoo
Special Thanks To
Riley Fleetwood, Dylan Hess, Daniel McGough, Emily Cinnamon, Zachary Johnson, Bryce Abeln, Keegan Elkin, Karrisa Terry, Zachary Reinker, Brenden Marshall, Lucca Hamina, Derek Myers, Meria Lee, Taylor Rockwell, Ethan Hampton, Clara Morrison, Ella Stidham, and Mrs. Briery for letting us create an epic story